[Untitled illustration of a dragon and its reflection]

[page 11] Intro. It is I, Hildifons Took, typing with newly learned skills with a new story..... Thruout @Throughout@ history, if the status quo was to be changed, it took a great blunder of exceeding tragic results to collect the might for the blow to destroy the avvumulated @accumulated@ dirt. I say: a great tragedy! The tragedy must show all, d ook- very clearly, the fallacy in the system which created it. Long have I fought an N-N government. Long have I awaited thid @this@ ook again- this. Dain has been elected king! <Stylized font suggests calligraphy, inked in red.> a Story for The M.S. by Dain <End calligraphic font.> <Handwritten in red.> IRON FOOT <End handwriting.> "Scweppe's Bitter Lemon is better!" "Scweppe's Bitter Orange is better!" "Because of the construction of the average lemon, as compared to that of the average orange, it ls of such a type..." So the discussion of drinks between Hugo Boggin @Boffin@ and Hildifons Took went on as it had been for hours. "I think it's a matter of personal taste," remarked Adelard. No one paid any attention to him. At that moment Mirabella Took-Brandybuck rushed into the tavern. "Where's Hugo Boffin? Where is he?" she cried. "There you are! I went over to your hole to borrow a cup of sugar and she was gone. Oh boo hoo!" "Cool it, babe," said Boffin. "Just the facts. Who's gone?" {Image: A line drawing of a foaming pint appears to the right of the previous three paragraphs. Beneath the image is the handwritten word "ALE."} "Donnamira! Here, he left this note." "'To whom it may concern,'" Boffin read. "'Because Donnamira Boffin is so beautiful and desirable, I have (ook-have) decided to take her for my own. We are heading for the deep south and any who try to stop us will be destroyed. Yours, Alvin.'" "Beautiful?" said Adelard. "Desirable?" said Prisel Took. "Destroyed?" said /Bunco Boffin. "Alvin?" sain @said@ BAd-O' BAggins. 'I can’t stand @can't stand@ it,' shouted Hugo. 'If only I had stayed home like a good husband this would never have happened.' 'I cant @can't@ stand it.' shouted Hildifons. 'If only I hadn’t dragged Hugo down here every night. Oh me!' 'I cant @can't@ stand it.' said Adelard. 'I'm going to be ill." (Me too, says author, editor, readers, etc.) 'Who will come with me to rescue my beloved?' cried Hugo. Immediately a chorus of volunteers answered. 'Why should I? ' said Prisel. 'I might,' said Adelard. 'How much will you pay?' said Bad-o @BAd-O@. 'I'll go!' shouted H.T.. 'Destroyed?' said Bunco. {Image: A line drawing of the note appears to the right of the previous dialogue. The note is furled at its top. On the unfurled part the words "s.d. Alvin" can be read.} So Hugo Boffin managed to get BAd-O Baggins and his brother sam @Sam@ to go with him. The Cotton brothers, Irving and Marco, and Hugo's brother Bunco came along, [page 12] came along, too. Hugo even accepted Tom Underfoot into his services. Hildifons convinced Adelard and Isengrim to go. Then he talked the brother of Arbogast Fergeson Took into going along. His name was Argobast Fergeson Took. When he volunteered, Pistachio and Prisel Took said theyd @they'd@ go along too. So it was that there were thirteen hobbits ready to start the next morning. 'Thirteen's unlucky,' said Adelard to no one in particular. Unknown tothe @to the@ hobbits, Milton Brandybuck had convinced Herman Sandyman and Henry Proudfoot to accompany him on their own private rescue attempt. 'If we can rescue her,' said Milt, 'we can hold her for ransom.' 'Groovy,' said Henry. The three travelers left that night to go get a head start. Milt had convinced the other two that the quickest way to head south would be by way of the Brandywine. They set out by a boat built for three. As soon as they had reached midstream, Herman fell out. 'Glub, glub!' he called to his friends. 'Das de way it goes,' said Milton as Herman went down for the third time. After many days of travel, Henry and Milt were far downstream. One morning they awoke to find themselves out to sea with no land in sight. 'I'm hungry,' said Henry. 'And we're out of food.' said Milt. 'Tell you what,' Milt said, 'We'll flip a coin. Heads I eat you, tails you eat me.' 'Groovy,' said Henry. The coin was flipped and it came up tails. Milt stood up. 'You'll not get me.@'@ he said as he drew his knife and disemboweled himself, falling overboard as he did it. 'Unfairsies.' shouted Henry. 'You can't do that!' He jumped into to recover the body. It just so happened that he jumped on top of a Portuguese Man of war. That was the end of him. Hugo, Hildifons and company had been travelling for many days. They reached the outskirts of Minas Tirith. All of a sudden the @they@ heard loud yelps and a cry of 'Mush' and a sled came hedling rowrds @heading towards@ them. It stopped and its driver stepped out. 'Who are you?' asked Hugo. 'I am Quinn the Eskimo,' the guy in the furry coat answered. 'What are you doing here?' Briefly, Hugo explained thier @their@ quest. 'You're all crazy,' said Quinn. "But I saw Alvin heading south several days ago. He's probably reached his home by now.' 'Where's that?' asked Hildifons. 'He lives in the city of Nagar, far to the south. It lies in the middle of a jungle. Here, I'll draw a map for you.' see next page ugh. Can an <crossed out letter> Ork Help a typist is desperately needed. see @See@ me now! {Image: The bottom margin of the page is dominated by a churning sea. A two man rowboat sits off-center, heading toward the right margin. The boat has no passengers. Just before the boat is a ring of three concentric ripples. The boat is inked in black, the water is purple.} [page 13] {Image: a map of a river with three forks fills the upper left quarter of the page. It is clear this is a river and not a road as the word "RIVER" descends along the lowermost branch. The right half of the map is parceled into hexagonal spaces; the left half is almost empty. Most of the hexagons are filled with green scribbles. Two at the ends of the river are colored black. The upper of the two hexagons is simply shaded, the lower black hexagon is filled with writing too light to make out. To the right of the upper black hexagon the word "CORSUir's" is written.} 'What are the hexagons for?' asked Hildifons. 'They measure your rate of movement. You go slower in the jungle and you are double behind a river or in a city.' 'Oh.' They left Quinn and continued south. They came to Umbar. In Umbar, Hildifons bought a boat and took the Took people towards Nagar by sea. Hugo continued with the rest of the group by land. Several months later Hugo and his friends reached the edge of the jungle. 'Bad O, take the point,' commanded Hugo. 'Aw, bag it,' replied Bad O. 'I beg your pardon.' Hugo said. 'I'm going,' repeated Bad O. {Image: a line drawing of a snake appears to the right of the previous dialogue. The snake is facing the left margin of the page. Its tongue is out and its head is raised. Upon its back is a design made of horizontal 's' shapes.} After an hour of travel they couldn't find Bad O. Then Hugo's brothe @brother@ Bunco stumbled upon him halfsubmerged @half submerged@ in quicksand. He went back to find others to help. When they returned there was nothing left. 'Bad O,' Bunco said. 'No kidding,' said Irving Cotton. 'ack!' As he had been standing there a python had dropped out of a tree directly on him. Soon Irving was just a lump in the snake's bod @body@. 'Holy Moly,' cried Bunco, slapping at a mosquito which had bitten him. 'I'm getting out of here.' That night Bunco died of a disease the mosquito had given him. He got a swelled head and died. Hugo suffered briefly from this dreaded disease and still has recurring attacks to this very day. Three days later Hugo, Marco, Sam and Tom reached the city. A sentry on the wall spotted them and soon they were surrounded by troops from Nagar. To their amasment @amazment@, the soldiers were hobbits. The group was taken into the city. Immediately they were thrown into a large cell. 'Who's that?' called a voice. 'Hugo Boffin and friends. Who are you?' 'Thank God!' and Hildifons Took stepped forward. With him was Adelard. 'How did you get here?' asked Hugo. 'It's a long story. We made it OKay @Okay@ to the river. We sailed up it for a couple days when our troubles began. 'Argogast @Argobast@ and Pistachio were wresting on board. Argobast threw Pistachio and he fell overboard. The pirranhas @piranhas@ got him. Argobast felt so bad about it that he fed himself to a crocodile. 'The next day we stopped for supplies. As soon as we entered the jungle Isongrim got snapped by a giant Venus Fly trap. Then a leopard jumped on Prisel. That was the end of the ole ball game for him. {Note on the Text: A handwritten message is cut off by the bottom of the scan.} [page 14] 'Adelard and I made it to the city. We docked and came ashore. I bought a copy of the Mathom Sun and found out where Alvin lived by the 'Official Citizenship <the 'n' is inserted between lines with a carot> @Citizenship@ List' which they put in every issue. A gossip column said that he had a new wife to add to his harem. I think I know who that is. 'We went to his house to snoop around. Unfortunately, his personal bodyguards caught us. We've been here ever since.' Suddenly, the cell door opened. 'A visitor,' announced the guard. Donnamira rushed in. 'Cookie Jar!' cried Hugo. {Image: A simple line drawing of a ring of three keys appears to the right of the text.} 'Pumpkin!' cried Donnamira. After Hugo and Donnamira had shaken hands, they got to talking. 'What I cant understand', Hugo said,' is that there is a city of Hobbits here in the jungle.' 'Alvin told me all about it,' said Donnamira. 'A long time ago, a group of hobbits were on one of the king's ships. A storm wrecked the ship and they were washed ashore. They tried to get out of the jungle and they ended up here. The city is named after their leader, Emile Nagar.' 'But why did they take us prisoner?' Hugo asked. 'How should I know? Do you think I know everything?" 'I don’t think that,' said Adelard. Donnamira said. 'Say, I have got an idea how we can get you guys out of here. Listen.' A few minutes <the 'e' is inserted between lines with a carrot> later she called the guard. When he opened the doorall @door all@ the male hobbits began kicking Adelard. 'What's hgoing @going@ on here?' the guard shouted. Donnamira swung her purse and belted the guard over the head. He fell with a crushed skull. 'Let's go.' called Hildifons. Adelard grabbed the guard's sword as he went out. 'He won't need it anymore,' said H. T. 'You sound like Sergent @Sergeant@ Friday on Dragnet.' said Adelard. Halfway to the boat they were overtaken by the soldiers of Nagar. Tom, Marco, and Sam were captured and led off to the torture chambers. 'Get your bods moving' warned Adelard to the remaining trio. When they had reached the boat they were overtaken again. 'You guys cast off', called Adelard. 'I'll hold them off until you can get away!' 'Okay,' Hugo, Hildifons, and Donnamira said simultaneously. Adelard's first sword thrust went through Alvin's throat. 'That smarts,' gurgled Alvin as he died. Then Adelard was overwhelmed by numbers. 'Oy Nay,' said Adelard. Hugo, Hildlfons, and Donnamira sailed to Umbar. From there, they had no trouble in getting safely home. The End.