[Illustration of a hobbit hole with smoke coming out from the top]

[page 10] _GOLDILOCKS (A Phariain Tale)_ In a hole there lived some hobbits. Not a nasty, dirty hole but a warm, comfortable (and large, in fact _the_ largest) hobbit hole, at the top of the Hill. In it lived Sam Gamgee aud his wife Rose and their children Elanor, Frodo, Little Rose, Merry, and Pippen (who were away at the moment) and little Goldilocks (and baby Hamfast). One morning they (Sam, Rosie, and Goldilocks, the others were spending the week at tha Cottons) sat down to Tea (of cream-of-mushroom soup, strawberries & cream, baked bread & fresh butter, bowls of meadow mushrooms & morels, cheeses, grapes & plums, apples, and of course herb tea) only to find that the mushrooms, fresh from the pan, were far too hot to eat. "Well" said Sam,"Since it is impossible to have Tea without mushrooms, if you take my meaning, we may as well go down and visit the rest of the family at the Cottons 'til things cool off (though I've seen hotter things in my day)." And so they all three marched out their large, green, round door (with the big, yellow doorknob) and hopped down the Hill to the Cottons, Bywater way. Not long later along came a weary Ranger, who, noticing the Door a bit open,gave a faint knock and dropped in for some hobbit hospitality with an old friend, having been out in the wilderness for time. The first thing he noticed was the aroma of mushrooms all 'round the room. Over he uent to the laden table and plucked a morel out of the first bowl. "Too hot!" he said with scorched throat. Then (after sampling one of Sam's orchard apples) he tasted a mushroom from Rosie's bowl. "Too cold!" he said (she had immediately set her's in cold water). Then he went over to Goldilock's seat, sampled one of her small 'buttons', and with a "just right" he commenced eating the whole helping passionately. After that he sampled some of the other provender and then, feeling heavy, looked about for a good pipe to relax with. Poking about the smial he came on Sam's Smoking Room ( where he and guests would have after tea talks). Besides the shelves of books (most of them unused except the genealogies and gardening books and a few others) there were several cases of 'pipes'. Most of them were mathoms of course. Some had been given as gifts, others were family heirlooms. But three of them were in a 'leaf' lined box of their own. He picked up the first one, one which Sam had carved long ago before the Great War, and inwhich he had great pride, and the Ranger lit it and puffed a bit (they were always 'at ready'). "Too 'hard'" he said. He then picked up another which was one Rosie had given him the last Free Fair, and blew a few puffs. "Too mild," he said. Finally he selected the last, a finely wrought one which little Goldilocks had gotten from Uncle Nibs and given to Sam on his last Birthday. Ranger tested it and then with a "just right" settled back and blew rings about the room. Finally, wearied with all the activity and a good days walking, he went into the bedroom. He lay first on Sam's bed. "Too hard," he said. "Too soft," he said, lying on Rosie's. Then he tried Goldilock's and though it was a bit small, he fell fast asleep. About this time Sam, Rosie, and Goldilocks came back. Now ready to enjoy a good Tea after their walk they went into the dining hole. As soon as they did Sam noticed something peculiar. "Someone's been eating at my mushrooms, he gasped. "Someone has been eating _my_ mushroons," said Rose. "Someone's been eating my mushrooms and they're all gone!" Goldilocks cired @cried@. They looked about for the culprit and followed some bootprints into the Smoking Room. "Someone's been using my pipe," said Sam. "Someone has been using 'my' pipe," said Rosie. Goldilocks began to cry. "Someone's been puffing 'my' pipe and smoked it all gone!" she wailed. With that they marched into the next room. "Someone's been sleeping in my bed'" said Sam, all flared up. [page 11] "Someone has been sleeping in my bed, too!" said Rosie. "Someone's been sleeping in m bed and here he is!" exclaimed Goldilocks. With that the Ranger awoke with a start. But he certainly didn't "run away and never come back again". I mean who's afraid of hobbits? THE END