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[page 2] AN EPICAL HISTORIE OF THE WAR OF THE RING George Heap O, Sauron made some Rings, they were very useful things, And he only wanted One to keep; But Isildur took the One just to have a little fun -- Sauron's finger was still in it, what a creep! Sauron had no friend to help him at the end, not even an Ore or a slave; It was dirty Frodo Baggins who fixed his little wagon And laid poor Sauron in his grave! Then Sauron went to war for the glory of Mordor, But his Orcs didn't like the sun: It was marching in the heat made them feel so very Beat So he made them suntan lotion by the ton. Sauron had no friend to help him at the end, not even an Orc or a slave; It was dirty Frodo Baggins who fixed his little wagon And laid poor Sauron in his grave! Gollum met his ruin while skin-diving in Anduin Where he found his birthday present; He gave up steak and pork just to eat raw fish and Orc; Though the flavour was unique, it wasn't pleasant! (Chorus:) Sauron had no friend... Frodo Baggins got the Ring and he rather liked the thing But it worried him every minute; At the end of his long mission, to keep up with the tradition, He lost it with his finger still within it. (Chorus) Now the wizard. Saruman heard that Rings were in demand And if he could find the One he'd have it made; But in spite of Fangorn's hints he had overlooked the Ents Who showed up to stage an Arbor Day parade. (Chorus) Sauron felt rather poor at the fall of Barad-dûr And he didn't have a friend, as I've mentioned; But his spirit lives today, just the same in every way, And the Orcs show up at every darned convention!